Gifting the New Ones

I’ll admit. I am horrible when it comes to gifts. I think about things. I go on-line to look at things. I come up with ornate, exciting gifts, but then I never manage to buy them. I have good intentions. I get birth announcements and I put them on my fridge thinking, “Next time I’m at the Gap, I’ll find a little something for Ella (or Logan or Luca or Conner or Cole or Chloe or … well, you get the point).” But the truth is, I almost never make it to the Gap, and if I do, I’m way too busy checking out t-shirts and sundresses for ME to remember the birth announcements on my fridge. And in the unlikely case I do, I have to do the math to figure out how old they will be when it is time to wear a sundress or snowsuit. (Side note: I prefer local stores or internet sites like Etsy, but then it's hard to return if they don't like the gift. Frugal people think like this. I don't want my gift given away.)

Weddings are far easier. People are almost always registered at Crate and Barrel or Macy’s, and if not, The Wedding Channel.com will tell me where to go if their website doesn’t. I simply scan the list of what the lovely couple wants, and a few clicks and a hundred dollars later I can check the task off my list.

Getting married changed my gift giving habits considerably. I was shocked at how many people who weren’t invited to our wedding sent us gifts. I know most people try to get married only once, and the hopes of a new marriage and all that stuff makes people happy, but we got gifts from co-workers who we don’t even hang out with socially. After I dashed off their thank you notes, gushing with how thoughtful they were, I felt ashamed of how many babies births passed me by with little more than an email saying, “Congrats! S/he is beautiful! I hope you can pee without pain soon!”

Really. Gracious. Elegant. Classy? I think not. Maybe Klassy, but that’s not something I strive for. So, I’m making a huge effort to be Classy and Considerate. I don’t want to fall into the sinkhole of superfluous gift giving, but marking major milestones like pushing a baby out (or having it cut out – how about just carrying a baby?) and getting married should be marked with gifts.

So, Ella and Chloe got new brothers in the past six months (I’m trying, people!) and I have two boxes under my desk each containing a little outfit. They’ve been there a week. I have part of the problem under control (gifts are purchased!), but now I’m wondering if the outfits will fit by the time I get around to mailing them out.

This baby gift giving is hard. No wonder I usually stick with blankets.

Merry Holidays

Hopefully, all the presents are wrapped, your bags are packed or unpacked (if you’re traveling) and the tree is trimmed. Hopefully, you aren’t planning on frantically shopping for all of your gifts Monday. Allegedly, my great-grandfather would do this every year. Wait until Christmas Eve and knock it all out. God only knows the crap he gave. We all know the “pressure” gifts we’ve bought in the past. Hell, the stores know we cave under pressure. Why do you think Victoria’s Secret has the cute jammies packaged to go? Pottery Barn has frames pre-wrapped. (Which strikes me as strange since I usually give frames with pictures in them hence making more work. Unwrap, put picture in, rewrap. It’s a whole extra step plus feeling badly about unwrapping the nice wrapping.) The perfume gift sets at Macy’s? Those scream, “Help me! I’m clueless, but this looks nice and kinda smells good.” We’ve all caved and bought crap.

Our family is so lucky this year. First, they get a great picture of us from our wedding in a nice, wrapped-only-once frame. Just what they all want! (At least my mom does and I’m hoping we make the photo wall at my dad’s, father-in-law’s and brother-in-law’s. This is a milestone photo, people!) And then, they get some goody from Vietnam like a Tiger beer t-shirt or lacquered coasters or purses from the peddlers in Sapa. I mean, these are things people really, really want. (I swear they are cooler than they sound.)

So, I hope everyone loves the presents you give, and in return, you get all the goodies your heart desires.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Hannukah!
Fabulous Kwanza!
Wonderful Solstice!
Dreamy Days Off From Work!

May your holidays be drama-free and full of love and laughter.

Peace out ‘til 2008. I have to go drink some schnapps.

All Hallow's Eve

I must be getting old. I feel really boring. To celebrate Halloween this year I carved a pumpkin (not the easy task I recalled from childhood). I didn’t even venture to put on a wig. In some blast of nostalgia, I wore an orange sweater to work today. Who knew I had it in me?

But back to those orange gourds we like to carve every year. “We” being Americans, not me. My friend Heidi hosted her annual pumpkin carving party last Friday. In years past, I’ve skipped the actual carving part for socializing and eating. This year, I decided to carve. I started tenderly scrapping the innards of my pumpkin with a spoon. Carefully avoiding getting too mucked-up with pumpkin guts, but after a few futile attempts, I remembered why I always stuck my bare hand into the pumpkin. It is just plain easier, and honestly, more fun.

All the tricks starting coming back to me. The spoon handle kept getting caught on the inside lip of the pumpkin making it difficult to scoop efficiently. This little thing brought me back to the kitchen floor of my childhood. Unfortunately, not enough to recall how to design a good jack-o-lantern face.

I’d forgotten to not only look for the smooth side of the pumpkin, but the side that tilted up. I came up with a lame attempt that sort of resembled an alien face but not really. My only saving grace was the star I dug out last minute at the urging of the only person there who had never carved a pumpkin before, and chose to stay that way.

After everyone is done carving, Heidi judges a contest and gives prizes. They judging is based on her criteria like the obvious best jack-o-lantern, but also the best effort, best recent return to carving effort and so forth. It’s a contest everyone wins.

The winner of it all? My German husbands mini-white gourd that he turned into a gorgeous candle votive. I had no idea he has it in him to create such beauty. Given, it was very symmetrical, but still. I had no idea I married an artist.

(And no pictures to show the results!! I accidently deleted them. Oops.)

Get in the box

The wedding industry is a racket. I’ve already said that about a million and one too many times. But I’m saying it again. If I hear “it’s only once in your life” again, I might vomit. I also only graduated from college once (and was that a fun party!), had sex for the first time once, turned 16, turned 21, turned 30, and got confirmed once – oh wait. Never did that one. Yes, god willing, this wedding will be my only one this lifetime. If we both stay healthy and sane (mostly me on the sane side), this will be our only wedding.

The cost of weddings, as discussed before is mind-boggling. Hopefully, I only have to throw a large party for my friends once, too. Unless we win the lottery or one of our hare-brained ideas flies. Then, I’ll be happy to host because I can pay someone else to do everything and all I have to do is show up.

The main thing I am realizing is that it is much easier to be a bride in a box. There is a reason that these weddings are done in such a cookie cutter way. And yes, there are different shapes of cutters, but they are cutters all the same. I started out fighting this tooth and nail. I wasn’t going to wear a big white dress (am now), wasn’t going to have bridesmaids (am now but NOT in matching dresses), wasn’t going to have aisle to walk down (might now) and, well, I guess I always planned on food and dancing. It’s hard to get out of the box. I tried. I scraped and screamed and pleaded. I wore myself out thinking of different ideas. The reality is that it is so much easier to just do what everyone else does. I’m starting the think the box is pretty comfortable.