I said I wasn't wearing a "wedding" dress. I swore it. I planned on pulling a Carolyn Bessett Kennedy. Looking stunning in a simple, clean-lined, sexy dress. Well, guess what? Bias cut dresses look like shit if you have any sort of hips. I am far from "hippy," but the bias dress is not my best friend.
I tried on pouffy white confections with Rebecca, and felt like, well, not me. I tried on filmy, goddess style dresses with my mom, and felt like, well, not me. I tried. I stood in Nicole Miller and stared at the woman in the mirror. The one that made my mom cry. I thought I looked pretty damn good. Even a little sexy, but it still wasn't quite right. The dress itself felt great - really light. I dragged my mom toLoehman's in an effort to find the dress like a hunk of gold hidden on the river bottom. She was completely claustrophobic as we squeezed ourselves between the tightly placed racks, and said more than once that she needed to leave. I didn't let her. We found it. A grey-ish, white Badgley Mishka gown. I felt like a super ball winner. We paid the $350 for the originally priced $1200 gown and floated out of the store.
By the time we reached the stationary store in Beverly Hills all of fifteen minutes later, I knew the gown wasn't the one. My mom asked me what I wanted to wear. What did I picture myself in? I imagined a gown I designed with intricate cuts, layers of fabrics - chiffon, organza,charmeuse , taffeta - all together on one gown that was slightly deconstructed. The gown I imagined would look a lot like the $3000 ones at LesHabitudes. The dress hunt has made me miss my sewing machine like... well, like something missing. A chunk of me sitting dormant.
I started imagining the wedding at the house in North Carolina, and in the process, saw myself in a traditional wedding gown. I started scouring eBay because there is no way in hell I am giving up another Saturday to shop instead of hike or think about sewing (note: I didn't say sew because really, who am I fooling?). I finally found one that appeals to me. I'm sending her the check tomorrow and then I just get to wait. I pray to god the dress fits like a glove and I can stop thinking about this. I have way better things to spend my time on. Like designing a new website presence.